Anyway, quick release of thoughts for 2010;
I've found myself breaking all the rules I set out for myself and since I've disobeyed myself I have no control over my emotions. I feel like I'm 10 all over again, back when I was in love with Carl and too shy to act normal, I acted completely awkward. Never made eye-contact, barely laughed at his jokes - even if they were hilarious, I acted so weird towards the poor boy.
Sad to say I'm doing the same thing 11 years later. Ugh. I'm stupid.