Chance of Love?

I ask myself a lot, which would be easiest...

Walk away and leave with nothing or keep walking towards the unknown? Only to walk away from the supposed 'unknown', broken and damaged. Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me...

Ultimately this leads me back to where I once solidly stood - love/relationships/lovey dovey crap is for sappy-wimpy-lily hearted- fools.

"It is better to have loved once than to have never loved at all." - I never had love, never truly possessed it.

So, I'll stick to the latter.

Search for Solitude.

It is hard to watch people that you appear to be similar to obtain goals and work continually towards those goals while your path seems to have more speed bumps, deterring you from getting to end at the same rate they are, but I now comprehend the saying, "everything ain't for everybody" - I'm walking, I may not be going at a consistent speed, but I'm walking. I'll have to find my speed and when I do, I'll get there. 

I'll get it.

Searching for my solitude; 

I came from the ground if you want to be technical, so in the grandiose picture I came from the earth. My happiest times were spent in the park, on the grass, on a park bench, listening to the wind tell me what's next. I suppose we'll start all over again on this quest to peace and start with mother nature. She always has been good to me :)

I'll let you know how this goes...

Ficky-Ficky Success?

Blasting my music, jamming out, living life as random as I could possibly do....the music came to a hault. 

Success is.......What?

In this superficial bubble, that is Howard University, success is defined as membership in numerous organizations, a decent (or maybe not so decent) GPA and popped hair  (in a males case nice clothes). But wait! If you live off of campus and have a car, your even more successful...right?

The free spirited aren't candidates for success supposedly, or maybe not the success warranted by the masses. They're the straight and narrow kind of kids I've never truly liked, they shoot one arrow up at a star and hope to land but, if you miss, then what? I live by the philosophy that states the opposite. Shoot several arrows at several different stars, your bound to hit one, if not all. 

Scatter-brain. Not like an idiot but, simply put...scattered. 

I don't think I can plan my life according to a five year plan, I'm too finicky for that...I'm too me , for that.

So...what is success?

Sunday, the pastor said, "if you rely on formulas for prosperity your bound to fail" ......I never did like formulas. 

:)

Where are you, me?

Seems as if I've been living in a lot of chaos lately, a piece of my sanity was left at BWI Airport on December 30, 2008 when I made my way to Atlanta for a week filled with debauchery, gluttony, blasphemy and all things irreverent. 

I suppose it was my 4.0 GPA or the fact that my father treated me to everything I asked for in the month of December. When my flight landed in Washington, DC on January 2, 2009....I starred blankly out of my window, longing to go back. Apparently I forgot to pick up my sanity at the baggage claim.

Hello '09

Why on earth would ANY text book be $200?

I might as well sell my soul to the devil to get that flimsy piece of paper that reads, "Bachelor of Arts" because it damn near costs the price of my life. This is my last semester of my third year. After this I'll have two. Frightening. I wonder what I'd have to sell next to afford Law School or Graduate School? Decisions.

Enough of the depressing Undergraduate student talk; Happy 2009 bloggers!

This is looking up to be a promising year. 2008 was definitely a year of blessings and risks. A lot of dots were connected for me last year. God willing, the dots will continue to connect and convey a pretty picture :)

 

Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Growth.

It's simple, the task is to grow and acknowledge the growth. Once you've acknowledged the road you've traveled you must succumb to the change. If not, the growth was in vain...or so it would seem. 

Self-less.

Now, more than ever have I put my own wants to the side. I've moved disposable things from my heart and created a crevice for another. 

Grow. Live. Accept. Succumb. 

Pathos.

Say it loud...

For a long time I was ashamed of being rich, being strong, being the ancestor to the mother of all mankind....but today, I'm twenty and able to appreciate me.

Black.

Power.

Unashamed.

Uninhibited.

Free.

Intelligent.

Striving.

In seven days I may be able to correctly and technically say, "my president is black."  My president may just be a black man. Yes, it holds a good ring to your ears for two years, but when you actually become conscious of the fact, it's indeed a wonderful feeling.

Black, I am. Proud, I am. Black is beautiful. Therefore, I am...